THREAD OVERFLOWS

[eyediot]

An overflow post for memes and other game threads.

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[curriculum_fictae]

But -

[ He fades noticeably under Jonah’s fingers, though he does cling to them. ]

How - how long have you known him, really? How long did it take for you to replace me?

[eyediot]

[That sting is an ice dagger under his ribs. Even if it is through the Lonely, he knows the sentiment had to build from something. Jonah clings back harder.]

Months. And- And I'd mourned you long before that. You were dead, Martin. And his Jon was gone. We went through the same things up until Peter took you both.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Sorry, Jonah. Martin continues to waver. ]

And - and what was the difference then? What happened after Lukas took him?

[eyediot]

I...

[He carefully, gently takes that incorporeal hand of Martin's between his hand, moving them to hold between them and... Not look him in the eyes.]

I failed. His Jon didn't.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ He’s so cold, barely solid. He takes in a breath as he clings to Jonah’s hand. ]

Why? Why couldn’t you help me…?

[eyediot]

I tried. I tried so hard for weeks, for months. I looked everywhere, but the Lonely was too strong. And you didn't want to be found.

[curriculum_fictae]

No. No I…

[ His voice falls to a whisper. ]

I wanted to be found very much.

[eyediot]

No...

No, you can't have. If you did, then- Then I kept looking and... And failed.

[His hands are trembling around Martin's, head down as that realization really does sink in. He failed. It really was all his fault.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Martin falls silent in turn. Sorry, no comfort here. ]

You looked. And - and you failed, and so by the time you found me again, the only thing you could do was kill me.

[ He’s so tired. Exhaustion frays at his very existence. ]

[eyediot]

[Jonah lowers his head at that, not able to look at him now.]

You remembered that... I thought you wouldn't. I'm sorry.

[curriculum_fictae]

It… it’s coming back to me. Just a fragment at a time.

[ He settles onto a chair, his outline faint. ]

[eyediot]

I'm- I'm sorry.

[Don't mind how wet his voice sounds or the drops falling through Martin's hands into his own.]

It was the only bit of mercy I could give you, I'm- I'm so sorry.

[curriculum_fictae]

Mercy. Yeah. It was mercy.

[ He watches Jonah’s tears fall through Martin’s hands. ]

This would have been better mercy, though. Coming somewhere nice…

[eyediot]

I don't have any control over that.

[curriculum_fictae]

Can you - can you keep me here now, at least?

[ The plea rattles in his spectral outline. ]

[eyediot]

I can try. I don't know how, but. I-i can try to.

[curriculum_fictae]

I guess - I guess that’s all I can ask for.

[ He looks up again, two blobs of brown in a head of mist. ]

[eyediot]

[Jonah stares back into those brown blobs, holding his gaze there.]

I wish I could promise to do more.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Slowly, slowly, they sharpen back into eyes. The rest of Martin emerges from the fog a little. ]

No compulsions?

[eyediot]

I- don't know that it would do anything. And I try not to do it at all if I can help it.

[curriculum_fictae]

Right. Right. Probably … best. Elias’s hurt so much.

[ He manages to lay a blurry hand on Jonah’s cheek. ]

[eyediot]

Right.

[He turns his face into that hand, taking a shaky breath.]

I don't want to risk hurting anyone if I can help it. Even if it means the risk of you or him disappearing from here.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ He nods a little at that, his fingers blurring into Jonah’s cheek. ]

I … I guess that’s good.

[ wistful: ]

Has this place been good to you, then?

[eyediot]

...It has been. It's been very good.

[curriculum_fictae]

Tell me something good about it, Jon.