monsterhaus still idk

[eyediot]

we live here

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[eyediot]

[Jonah stands there, unmoving. Suddenly very aware of the weight of the ring on his finger. Of the calling he feels further down.]

I don't know what you want from me.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric just folds in on himself a bit, the mists growing thicker. ]

Forgiveness. If - if that’s even possible. If not then. Then that’s fine, I don’t deserve it, but - I need to stay by your side, Jon.

[ His voice is all but a whisper. Pleading with him. ]

Please?

[eyediot]

Martin, I-

[He hesitates just to get a breath. Something to steady himself because he'd told them, he'd warned them if they didn't just tell him they were going, he would never forgive them. Tim had no idea Algric hadn't said anything. Tim he forgave easily.

But Algric... God, he loves this man. Enough he traveled as far and wildly as he did, is going to marry him.

It's hard.]

I need.. Time. Before I can think about forgiving. But I still want you at my side, I just...

[curriculum_fictae]

...

[ He was silent, miserable. Afraid. ]

You just what, Jon?

[eyediot]

...I don't know.

[The old him would have spit acid, torn him down. Jonah just... isn't interested in doing so. He wants to fix this but his heart hurts.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ A small mercy, though Algric doesn't like this much better. ]

Where - where are you sleeping?

[eyediot]

Um.

[He does look a little embarrassed.]

I've been sleeping in the panic room? A bit like old times.

[curriculum_fictae]

Like old times, eh.

[ He's only judging you a little. ]

I'll keep watch for you tonight. Outside the door.

[eyediot]

...Are you sure?

Tim's still at home, he's probably keeping the bed warm...

[curriculum_fictae]

He's always keeping the bed warm.

[ Algric just shakes a misty head. ]

I want to stay here.

[eyediot]

Well. We've proven I can't stop you. So.

[he takes a breath, knowing that likely hurt as soon as it's out of his mouth. But instead, he hunches over, going back to trying to reach the statement he'd started an hour ago.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Oh. Oh yes. The temperature drops again, and for a moment it seems like Algric has simply ... left.

When he speaks again, his voice is very small. ]

I won't stay without your permission, Jon.

[eyediot]

Are you certain of that?

[Sorry, he just. He doesn't trust.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Colder. The pages of Jon's statement are sticking together now, and the mist in front of him is growing almost too faint to see. ]

... Just. Believe me. Please, Jon. If only about this specific thing.

[eyediot]

...Can I ask something else?

[curriculum_fictae]

[ He drags in a frigid, shivering breath. That's not any kind of trust. Jon is never going to trust him again, is he? And he deserves it. ]

Yes. Anything.

[ The misery is gone from his voice, replaced by numbness. ]

[eyediot]

[He doesn't need the Beholding to know how this is effecting Algric. He hates this, but... feelings don't exactly sooth the hurt, either.

He does, at least, try to keep his voice measured. Calm.]

What did you think would happen when I found out you lied?

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Feelings don't undo what Algric has done. And being miserable doesn't entitle him to forgiveness either.

But he is miserable, and regretting every last bit of this entire situation. Starting with ever coming into Jon's sight in the first place. ]

I thought we'd fight. You'd be upset, but ... you'd realise my intentions were good, and you'd forgive me after a while. That ... seemed worth it, compared to the awful things that could have happened to you.

[eyediot]

[The things that did happen to him, Jonah thinks. He still isn't getting anywhere on this statement. Probably won't be able to eat so long as Algric is here so he sets it aside on the desk.

He looks around at the mist making it harder to see, but... Algric is all around, isn't he?]

I even told you I wouldn't forgive you if you did it. Those horrible things did happen to me, because you lied to me.

[curriculum_fictae]

I ... I made a mistake. I thought - I thought you wouldn't think to come after us if you didn't know we were gone.

[ His voice vibrates from all around Jon now. He doesn't seem to care enough to make himself exist at a finite point. ]

I thought you'd forgive me anyway. That we could work it out, but - but that you needed to live first.

[eyediot]

I was going to live, I was in no danger until you broke your promise.

I didn't- I had no way to know how long you both had been in the tunnels since I don't know when you left. and I even kept my promise not to See anything about either of you.

[He trusted so implicitly. The Eye drinks his paranoia up, like an old vintage.]

[curriculum_fictae]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was wrong on - on so many levels, Jon.

[ The mist starts to recede and fade again. ]

I'll go. All right? I'll just - I'll go.

[eyediot]

[Shit. He isn't making this any better, and he's hurting Algric in turn. That isn't what he wants. But he can't simply move past this either.

He stands, reaching one hand out to whatever is left of the mist.]

Martin - wait, I. I do. I do want you here.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ The mist leaks through his fingers, insubstantial; he can't get a grip on it. Instead, frost coats his hand. ​]

No. No, you don't. You - you don't want to forgive me, and that's your right. I've hurt you too badly.

[ A quiet, miserable noise. ]

But - but if there's no chance, and no path back, and I'm only hurting you by being here, I ... what is the point of me staying, Jon?

[eyediot]

The point is that I do want you here.

It's - People hurt each other, Martin. It's. It's part of being human, it's part of caring about others. I hurt our Tim so badly it got him killed in the end.

[A quiet little exhale.]

I didn't say there wasn't a path back. I only said I don't... know what to do.