eyediot | that one time travel psl

[ At least Jonah would have been well fed, yes. But Algric isn’t sure that his mother would have survived the encounter intact. He’s ... not ready for that. Not sure if his mother deserves it, even after all of that.

He walks slowly, a hand on Jon’s shoulder in turn. ]

You helped a lot, Jon. It was - was good. Having someone to stick up for me this time. That’s never happened before.

I'd do it every time if you asked. Do more if I could.

[It's easy. So, so easy to say. Easier to focus on that than those words that dug their hooks deep into his own insecurity and ripped them up for all to see.

It's not about me.

He rests one hand over Algric's on his shoulder while they walk.]

What else can I do for you? R-right now, today?

[ Algric takes in a deep breath. It’s a beautiful morning, at least; the sun is bright and warm, despite the deepening autumn weather. ]

Just stay with me for a while? There’s - there’s a little cafe nearby that I usually go to after a bad visit.

Of course.

[At least this time he's prepared for it. He knows he'll have to order for them both, pay for them both. It's fine now that he knows.]

You-- You know none of what she said is true. Right?

[ You’re the best, Jon. Algric appreciates you.

He slows a bit at that, gaze sliding away from Jon’s. ]

I - I know that. Yes. But believing is ... different.

...I know.

[He takes Algric's hand from his shoulder to simply hold it between them while they walk.]

I, and I know Jonah, will always be here to remind you.

[ That’s good too. Algric clings to his hand as they go along. ]

I’m - I’m so grateful, Jon. Incredibly.

[ A deep breath. ]

You know that applies to you too, right?

Hm?

[He was distracted thumbing along Algric's knuckles, taking in that feeling of his skin.]

Oh, I'm all right. Once we got out of there, it-- I'm fine.

Are you sure? She said - she said awful things about you too.

[ His shoulders go taut. ]

That’s - that’s what got me to stand up to her a little, in the end. She dragged you into it.

Oh.

I...I-i didn't hear any of it.

[Not after that initial dig. He'd forcefully tuned his ears out, the pretense of giving Algric privacy (which he wanted to do, yes, but--). The idea that he was an alternative, a substitute for a woman for Algric, and even then he can't--

He closes his eyes for a breath, exhales slowly, then smiles gently (if a bit pained) up at him.]

I'm...grateful you stood up for me too.

[ Algric tugs him in a little closer as they walk, struggling to contain his own anger at the memory. She’d said worse after, but that ...

He thinks he knows where it might have hurt Jon specifically, given his own recent conversations with Jonah. ]

Of - of course. It was a horrible thing to say even if it was true, and it’s not true, Jon. You’re - you’re not a substitute for anything or anyone.

It's fine.

[A little too prickly. A little too open wound to be poking at. He ducks his head down as soon as the words leave his mouth, knowing how clipped his tone sounded, squeezing Algric's hand.

He forcibly eases his words a bit.]

Do.. C-can I ask. What else she said?

[ It is, and Algric flinches a little at that clipped tone. But. That just proves his point, doesn’t it? He was right: his mother had hurt Jon badly.

He shakes his head lightly. ]

Do you - do you really want to know? It wasn’t ... wasn’t pleasant at all.

[For once, he's glad for Algric's invisibility cloak. It means no one else hears any of this unpleasant conversation, even as they get to the cafe.]

...I-i do. I. [God. Fuck the Eye.] I need to know. Otherwise, it just-- You'll keep it to yourself and. It'll fester and...

[It's as much that honestly as it is he's selfishly curious and paranoid.]

[ Indeed. To everyone else, Jon just walked in alone.

Algric falls silent for a moment, gathering his own courage. He’s - he’s right, of course. And he can’t blame Jon for wanting to know. Better to ask than simply ... Know. ]

She - she asked me how I planned on having kids. How that plan was going to work out for me now.

...Ah.

[Somehow the thought that Martin or Algric might even want kids hadn't occurred to him. He swallows hard taking a seat and lets that fresh hurt roll over him.

God what if they do? There's no way either of them will stay with him.]

That's, um. I-i can see why she'd... [He can't. Any kind of polite response just validates her, and he's trying not to do that here.] What shit that is.

[ That surprises a small, choked laugh out of Algric. ]

Right? It’s completely shit. I - I mean, ideally, yes, I’d still like kids? But I’d hoped for them before I found out that our world was secretly being run by eldritch horror monsters.

[ Now, the thought of having kids is ... god. He longs for it, but he can’t picture going through with it. How could he want to bring anyone into this world? ]

A-anyway, I - I made the mistake of mentioning that it didn’t matter, I loved you no matter what you did or didn’t want to do, and then she. She went on about how fitting it was that you didn’t want to with someone like me. Th-that - that clearly I wasn’t good enough to change your mind.

[ That hurts, but the motion in his face is more anger than anything else. What a horrific thing to say about his ace boyfriend. ]

[Jon listens quietly while Algric unloads all this. He had asked for it, hadn't he? These bits and pieces of Algric - Martin's - hopes for some future and how he's fitting what he has in front if him neatly into little slots that fit and discarding what doesn't. Of course it hurts Jon. But it's one of those things he's dealt with on his own since he found the words for what he is and how to explain it to people he'd expressed interest in - some left abruptly, some stuck around hoping he'd change his mind, and others tried to make it work anyway but. Well, his own shitty personality ruined it plenty on its own.

By the time Algric finishes, his eyes are glassy. Both hands brought to clasp in front of his mouth.]

I'm sorry.

[ God. See, this is why he didn’t want to tell you - why he’d gotten so angry when his mother had said it. He goes a bit limp himself, looking back at Jon with residual anger and quiet pain. ]

There’s - there’s nothing to be sorry for, Jon. I love you. I just - after she said that, I got furious, and you walked in, and ...

No, just- you. Had to sit and listen to that be...because of me. So. I'm sorry. F-for that.

[God. Using him to insult Martin. That simmering anger he felt initially starts to bubble again. He's clearly trying to push past it, his voice heavy.]

It, it doesn't matter even, since you're not going back.

[ Algric just shakes his head gently. What else can he say? It's true that his mother used Jon against him, but ... well. Mum uses everything against him. ]

That's right. I'm - I'm not going back. Not to her, not to my timeline, not to any of it. I tried. That - that was it.

[Jon only hesitates when the waitress comes around. He watches Algric another moment before turning his attention to her, ordering tea for them both, and a couple of pastries. She nods, doesn't feel like questioning the amount for one man, before heading inside.

Jon sighs shakily, rubbing at his own hands. He's nervous. This whole thing has him nervous, from the hunger and being overwhelmed by the fear there, to the deeply personal hurts it brought up.]

That was... it. Yes. [He laughs one mirthless, broken chuckle.] I guess we all had to be a little broken to work in Archives.

[ Algric flashes Jon a look of gratitude at that. That invisibility aura is still strong, and it's especially active right now. ]

Yeah. Yeah, I - I think so, honestly. That was how it preyed on us.

Still is, if we're being honest.

[He idly rubs at his ring finger before nervously moving a few things on the table where he wants them.]

We should... We have to let Martin know. S-so he doesn't... come here and get it worse.

R-right. I. I guess so.

[ He looks down at his own hands, the missing pinkie. ]

But it wasn't that much worse than a normal visit. I'd just ... forgotten? Hoped for better?

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