that one time travel psl

[eyediot]

sad bad end s5 jon and tim on a monster road trip



[Algric had given the trio a fair warning of what was happening. Not the specific details of what he was coming from, but he was from a little further along Algric's timeline, and came through Hilltop Road. Never pleasant, but he's here now. IT took a few days of settling, readjusting, and putting some firm self-imposed boundaries on himself before Jon felt comfortable enough to see the others.

After a few minutes of surprise and staring, Jon ends up sitting alone with Tim for a few minutes; the others having some things to take care of themselves. He sits there, fiddling a bit with his fingers, trying not to be self conscious. He can't do anything about the myriad of different, newer scars, nor about his black sclera or so many other things about himself now.

But god... Tim. Alive and not shouting at him right this second. How novel.]

Tim... I.. [Where does he even start.]

Comments

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric breathes heavily, marshaling his own courage. A compulsion would have been easier, but ... this is better. It gives him time to find his own words. ]

My - my mother. When Dad first left, she was ... unstable. She'd only just started to get sick, but he didn't want to deal with it, or me, and ... I try to remember that she was - was hurt. And ill, and. Not always in her right mind.

[ His voice falters. ]

I was eight the first time she hurt me. Dad - Dad was gone, and I couldn't stop crying. I kept asking her when he'd come back, and - and she got angry.

[ A hand drifts to his shoulder. The oldest of the scars that Jonah had seen, small but deep. ]

[eyediot]

[Jonah listens, still patient. But his eyes... Don't change. No green, no tell tale sign of him Beholding the answer. Just... Him. Listening to this.

And this? This breaks his heart. After what Algric had said about Jonah deserving parents that loved him, and Algric had been carrying this? A boy who just wanted his father back... And a mother who was so hurt.

His hand twitches, wanting to comfort but not sure if physical touch is the way to go. He's still too new to this all over again, still figuring it out.]

That's... Martin..

["The first time." Gods.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric loves physical touch, but ... perhaps not right now? Certainly nothing that would touch his back, not when it seems to blaze painfully underneath his layers of clothing. ]

She - she didn't touch me again for a while after that. I-I think I was twelve the next time. It all sort of. Blurs together.

[ His hands return to his knees, clutching at the faded fabric there. ]

We - we really didn't have any money. She had some benefits, but it wasn't enough, and. And I ate so much, I couldn't help it. I-I ran errands for our elderly neighbour and she'd pay me a bit of pocket money to help take the edge off.

I messed up the cooking that night. Let the soup cook while I read a book Dad had left behind, came back too late and it was all burned. Ruined a week's worth of food. She was - furious. Said a. A lot of things. I must have started to really look like Dad at that point, so. You know.

[ A deep breath. ]

I had to sleep on my stomach for two weeks after that.

[ He has so many more stories like that, Jonah, each equally layered with entirely mundane horrors. Why was a twelve-year-old working and cooking anyway? ]

[eyediot]

[He stays quiet while Algric unloads this lifetime of pain and trauma. For as much as his grandmother resented him, she never went this far.

Anything he wants to say at first thought, he's sure Algric has already heard. He looks at at the tense hands of the man he loves and sets his own close. Not touching. Just an offer.]

... I think you were right. If I had gone with you, she would not have survived.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric doesn't tell him everything. But he really doesn't have to. The touchpoints he singles out - and what it implies about what he doesn't say - is enough. Repeated horrors set against a backdrop of Algric desperately trying to keep them afloat through his mother's declining health and sanity. He'd dropped out of school and worked two jobs just to pay the bills that weren't covered by her benefits.

And she'd repaid him terribly. The only awful bright spot in all of this was that he'd gotten too big (and she'd grown too weak) for her to physically hurt him once he turned sixteen or so. It hadn't stopped her from continuing to damage him.

He just sits for a moment after, squeezing his eyes shut. His fingers twitch towards Jonah's but don't close the gap. Soon. Not yet. ]

Y-yes. You would have - you couldn't have helped but Known. And I wasn't - I couldn't do that. Not to Martin.

[eyediot]

No, not.. Not to him.

[She'll pass in time. And Martin will have them all with him in the fall out. But it can't be Jonah that pulls that trigger. No matter how blindingly angry he wants to.]

... May... May I hold your hand?

[It's a simple, honest request. But still open, if Algric wants to say no. It's that same quiet, understanding Jon that listened to statement givers, that was sympathetic and easy.]

[curriculum_fictae]

[ God. He did always love that about you, Jonah. He can't help but soften a bit now. With aching slowness, he lets his fingers brush up against Jonah's. ]

Yes. That - that would be nice.

[eyediot]

[Jonah turns his hand slow, curling around Algric's fingers. Loose and light, ready any time Algric wants to pull away.]

Thank you. For telling me.

[He doesn't need the details for every scar. He can fill those blanks in himself, but he's grateful Algric told him as much as he did.]

I'm sorry I didn't say so earlier, the first time you asked. I was just... I wasn't sure and I didn't want to. To ruin things worse.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric slowly clasps his hand around Jonah's, then, all but clinging now that contact has been initiated. ]

It's - it's all right. It's just. W-well, I'd rather pretend that nothing happened, you know? That ... maybe my childhood wasn't great, but it was just ...

[ A normal level of terrible. ]

[eyediot]

No, I... I understand.

[He thumbs along those knuckles of Algric's, thoughtful. How to best approach this.]

You don't... Have to hide those from me. I-I get it, I do. [His free hand rubbing at the edge of his neck scar self conscious.] But.. Don't feel like you have to.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ His gaze settles on that neck scar. On his burns, on his worm holes. ]

You do get it, don't you.

[eyediot]

[Even after all this time, Jonah can't help how he stiffens when he feels Algric looking at them. Not as lifelong traumatic as a parent, but still deep.]

... A bit. I-it isn't the same. But... I don't know if you saw me where you were at the Institute. But I did take to wearing quite a few turtlenecks and scarves. Winter, you know?

[God this isn't about him. He swallow, taking Algric's hand in both of his now.] I-I'm just... Saying. That's not something you have to keep a guard up around me for if you don't want to.

[curriculum_fictae]

Y-yeah. I - I noticed. Never did quite put it together, but ...

[ But he understands. He's hiding under his own jumper right now, after all. A deep breath. ]

I appreciate that, but - but what could you even do, Jon? Showing them to you - it's only bringing hurt to you, not peace to me.

[eyediot]

[What can he do?]

Comfort? Positive association, I-I don't know.

[He looks down at their hands, desperately wishing he knew what to say.]

Maybe you're right.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Algric falls silent, staring at that line across Jonah's neck. And the worm holes, and ...

If Jonah hid them from Algric, how would he feel about that? A bit miserable, right? Sure, he'd respect any way Jonah wanted to approach it, but ... he wants to be a part of Jonah's struggles. Even if all he can do is lean in close and tell Jonah he still loves him. ]

Show me - show me a scar of yours. One I haven't seen yet or. Or don't know the full story for.

[eyediot]

[At this point, what scar has Algric not seen yet? Jonah think on that, going over his history and...

We'll, there is the two. One more embarrassing than not, but the other...

He takes a breath and lets go of his hand. And moves to get one of his socks off, shifting so the bottom of his foot is easily visible. There on the heel is a splash of old scar tissue, small but whatever it was wasn't pretty at the time.]

Vintage. Pre-Institute, that one.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Oh. Algric's eyes go wide as he leans in close enough to get a good look. ]

What - what happened?

[eyediot]

Got curious where I shouldn't have. Was.. Seven or so, I think? Got lost and tripped in salvage yard. One of the, the deeper drop offs. Kept trying to climb out, lost my shoes in the process.

[And well. Only socked feet in a salvage drop off... But he almost sounds amused, like a normal childhood memory. Except it isn't and he knows, or he would've shared long before this. ]

Took a while to climb out. My grandmother was worried sure and upset I'd lost my shoes.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ Um. Yeah that's um. Algric has to take a moment to process that. ]

Y-you wandered about in salvage yards as a child?

[eyediot]

I did mention before I wandered a lot. Not just salvage yards, just anywhere that looked interesting.

[curriculum_fictae]

Oh my god, Jon. H-how did you even survive childhood?

[eyediot]

She found other ways to keep me occupied?

That was about the time she started threatening to keep me locked in the house so.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ SUCH A FACE. ]

I-I mean - I can see why, but even so -

[eyediot]

[He reflects on that afternoon sometimes. He hadn't cried or screamed, but for a small seven year old, that wall of scrap had been immeasurably high. And his hands could only grip so much for so long. He'd felt helpless, not dissimilar to how he'd felt that day with Daisy.]

Even so. [He echoes. Takes a deep breath and starts getting his sock back on, having let that air out as much as he dared.]

Only one of the. Current people in my life that know about it now.

[curriculum_fictae]

[ So he's trusting Algric. That's ... good. It seems fair. Some restoration of balance between them. ]

Georgie being the other?